10 Things About Me

I have a hard time opening up to people. I am definitely afraid of putting myself out there, I’m afraid of rejection. It’s alingering immaturity, the final vestige of the young, insecure girl I use to be. No matter how hard I try, she clings like a spoiled child.we are beautiful

I’m working hard to let her go and for the most part I don’t pay much attention to what people think of me, it’s none of my business anyway. To be honest (and I am ALWAYS trying to be honest) this is different, this blog is very much a reflection of the things I am most passionate about, so your acceptance is critical. I want you to love me. I want to be here for you, like a friend you can rely on, so you will come back and visit often.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you and gaining your trust. Your trust would be an honor. But, I know trust is built on candor. So today, I am opening up and letting you know a little bit more about who I am.

I hope you can relate:

  1. I have a filthy sense of humor, farts make me laugh, so does South Park, and my favorite movie is Robin Hood Men it Tights. (don’t judge me)
  2. Before I was a mom, I was single in NYC. I partied…A LOT…it was dysfunctional and self destructive. I didn’t love myself very much.
  3. I am riddled with self doubt. I don’t know why I can’t apply self love to my creative work.
  4. I’d follow my husband to the ends of the earth, barefoot, over glass if he asked me to. I don’t need him but I surely want him.
  5. I love and envy drag queens. There is freedom in femininity and freedom in casting off the trappings of femininity to be a man.
  6. I love my kids, they are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But sometimes, I do feel overwhelmed and I do miss Jenina (the me I was before I was mom) and I hate admitting that.
  7. I hate shaving. It’s an intense, societal pressure and it’s so oppressive but I’m trapped by a hairless ideal of beauty and there’s no going back. I’m well beyond dying my armpit hair in protest.
  8. Cheese puffs, my most shameful indulgence. My “writing pants” are caked in Cheetos dust, it’s embarrassing. They are the worst kind of junk food but I love them so much.
  9. I have several pairs of “writing pants” they are usually flannel – I can not write in uncomfortable clothes.
  10. I think we are all beautiful. I believe in you and I will love you until it hurts, then I will love you some more.

Bonus Truth: I’m very forgiving and full of empathy but if I must pass judgement it’s usually harsh and unforgiving.

I am always learning new things about myself every day, for example, I am a passionate activist, militant in my quest for civil and human rights. I never knew that before I had kids, though I always stood up for what I believed. Also, even though I love cocina criolla, my favorite food is Vietnamese because it’s so different from the food I grew up with.

I guess these are more than just 10 truths. I tried my best not to be superficial about it, to be insightful and open in the hopes that you will feel comfortable enough to open up to me now.

Go ahead and leave me some revealing insights about yourself in the comments below. Don’t be afraid to be candid, I can handle it!

9 thoughts on “10 Things About Me

  1. Here is one truth I am really feeling right now. I love my kids and husband more than anything. But sometimes I just want to scream! Can anyone just do as I ask the FIRST time I ask for it? Can anyone just follow through with a request without being reminded 50 times? Can my kids just understand when I say no, it means no!? Do not continue to pest, manipulate, or argue your point. I said no. I am the parent. Final say goes to me! I can not parent 3 kids of different ages plus my husband. I don’t have the strength sometimes. So sometimes I just want to run away….only for a day….if no other reason than to breathe.

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  2. 1. I’m a very passionate person and I will argue with any one about what ever subject I’m good at.
    2. I will do any thing for just about any body with no complaints.
    3. I know they say life isn’t fair but I can’t not stand when a situation is not fair. I think every thing and one should be fair and equal.
    4. I love cheese, all kinds doesn’t mAtter. Lol
    5. and if my husband ever left me I would die. I wouldn’t but he and I have been through hell and back and I do not want anyone else. I call my self a needy Stevie. I know it’s sick but with the relationships I e been through in my past it would be a shame to lose him.

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  3. 1. I am diabetic since I was 19 and it took me a long time to let go of being angry about it and being afraid of it. I got over it some time ago, but I feel more in control of it then ever.
    2. I have a lot of love to give and I always wanted children, but it never came to pass. Now, I realize that not having children gives me the freedom that I so love.
    3. I can be harsh with my words and openly honest, especially if you ask me for advice.
    4. I don’t have a problem opening up my mouth, especially in defense of someone else.
    5. I have a dirty sense of humor.
    6. I love the female friends and family in my life, A LOT, they have helped me get through some tough times.
    7. Okay, I am going to share this one and this one is deep. I love being with myself and doing things on my own, but there is a part of me that would love to have someone in my life, man, to share my life and to love and who will love me in return.
    8. I love being female…everything about it. I love my body, I love wearing girly clothes, I love wearing high heels and I love wearing makeup. My niece classifies me as a DIVA
    9. I love to write and create stories about children, I guess since I never had children, writing about them keeps me close and helps me remember my childhood.
    10. I didn’t come to realize a lot of things about my mother until after she passed away….she was my friend and the one person that I could actually feel how much she loved me….I miss her and I missed feeling it. I haven’t felt that way since…

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  4. 1. When I see an act of compassion I get so freaking emotional. If I see someone helping someone else who needs help I well up instantly. If there is an animal being rescued on video on face book you can pretty much count me out for a half hour.
    2. I have terrible difficulty sometimes going outside and being around people. It is the worst feeling in the world and it terrifies me but I force myself to leave the house and interact as it always makes me feel better to not “give in”.
    3. I often am struck with panic wondering if I have ever said “LOL” in conversation. That has to be the shallowest problem ever faced by anyone.
    4. When I was a kid I used to always dream that I was a boyfriend of someone famous and I would take him to school and all the other kids would think I was sooooo cool cause I was dating someone famous. This wasn’t fantasizing this was a genuine recurring dream. Now I am old I don’t think that would make me cool at all.
    5. I used to blame my parents for a tough childhood. Now i realize that they were kids when they were raising me and they did as good a job as they could and I love them for it.
    6. Red onions give me massive headaches.
    7. Burritos are my true weakness. Sadly they often contain red onion.
    8. When I was a kid I used to put planks of wood in spirals in the garden and play wizard of oz as if the wood was the yellow brick road. I was always the witch.
    9. I was fascinated with vampires as a kid and wanted to be one soooo bad. When I was about nine I drew a picture of my tombstone while pretending I was vampire Chris and my parents sat me down as they found it and thought it was some kind of danger sign lol. When I asked them to buy me a coffin to sleep in they pretty much decided I was hopelessly weird!
    10. I think that loving compassion and kindness are the true goals of life (after money, fame and power of course! Lol)

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